Have you ever been asked the question, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” If you’re being truthful you could easily answer “No, those jeans don’t make you look fat.” (After all it isn’t the fault of the jeans but more likely the fault of one too many cookies piling up of the posterior of the wearer that is making the questioner look fat.)
If you are being honest though you might say “No, you look fat whether or not you are wearing the jeans.” (Of course I wouldn’t want to be around when you actually say this.)
This is the difference between truth and honesty. You can be truthful without being honest.
As a leader, the question is, should you be truthful or honest. I really don’t have an answer to this question.
All I know is that this week, I was repeatedly “truthed” by people who could have been honest. It would have been more difficult for them to be honest but I would have been much happier with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth or in other words, brutal honesty.
I was in a truth or honesty situation yesterday. I told the unsuccessful job applicant the honest answer. It was a little harder but I thought it would be more helpful to her. She sincerely thanked me for my honesty. I felt better in the end than if I’d taken the easy way out. Honesty earns respect, and I think respect was one of your key leadership ingredients.
Bon voyage, Tom
Well done. I think what you did is rare. I even go to the point of asking people if they are ya-yaing me when I think they’re not being honest.
The Leader is allowed to be brutally honest. And it is true; while the truth may sting a little we are better for hearing it once the pain goes away.
The follower (employee) has the onus of exercising immense tact in order to prevent backlash in the form of a pink slip. The rule applies to both their managers and co-workers.
Tom, good for you for showing integrity and honesty. We love our leaders who can be tough but get results because they are not pussyfooting around issues that require stark address. And the candidate you hire will undoubtedly push your business forward.
As for the candidate, the same can not be said. Should’ve fudged the truth a little!
As to employees, you are right, extreme tact is required and frankly I find that employees favour truth over honesty as the rewards do not exceed the risks.